Stoned again.
I just woke up at a friend from my dorm’s place. Apparently I fell asleep while watching star wars down there. I went there last night, cause I had nothing else to do, and I got a little high. I think I smoked about 4-5 joints or something. It was pretty good. Especially since none of it was mine. I gave them some LSA seeds for them to try, and sold some seeds for pot as well. I think it was a good trade. They say they’re willing to buy lots of seeds when they get money next week. That’s pretty cool. I don’t really know what to say. My mind is pretty fucking empty, which on the other hand is niiiiiice. It’s rare that I have this little on my mind.
Happy wednesday to everyone!
Relaxation equals weed
I kinda decided to limit my smoking to the weekends. I can’t really say that works out very well for me.
During my trip last weekend I realized that my main problem is my missing ability of saying “no”. When the opportunity represents itself, I just kinda go with it, instead of thinking about whether it’s clever or not. However, I can save my own weed, which is a huge step for me! I have a bag of weed on my table, which has been laying there since sunday. Go me!
I was pretty active yesterday. Worked out at 11, followed by some good lunch with a good friend. I did two walks, 7 km in total, and in the evening me and the before mentioned friend started out a handy man project. We’re going to paint his speakers, which is a pretty big project, since they have some kind of cloth glued to them. Getting that off was pretty god damn hard, and the glue still sticks a lot. In the evening my body was pretty used up!
We were a few friends getting together yesterday, and the opportunity of smoking weed presented itself. I got high. Very high. Even though it was a lot fun, and I felt pretty great, I still think I shouldn’t have. Usually I’m not a person to regret things, but somehow I think I do. I think a lot about my well being at the moment, and going back to smoking every day would probably be a very bad thing for me. To be honest I can’t really remember that much from the past six months. Time has disappeared in a big cloud of smoke.
I am in a good place right now. I’m happy, energetic and a lot healthier than I’ve been for a lot time, and I want this to continue for as long as possible. I’m confident that I can do this, however I’m not sure how much I trust myself. I have the habit of throwing in the towel, and just let everything fuck itself up. I’m just not the best person for me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my trip last week. A few facts about myself just struck my mind. I realized that I just need someone to protect me. I just want to be looked after. The lonely nights have started getting to be. I miss intimacy and presence from another human being. I have a lot of friends that I’m close with, but that is just not enough. I miss having someone special in my life. The problem is that I just don’t have the confidence to think that someone could love me for me. I can’t really see how anyone can find me attractive enough, or even live with me and my mental issues. I believe I’m a difficult person to be with. Even though I’m in a good place right now, I just don’t know how long this will last..
Impulses and drugs
I’m pretty fucked up on lsa right now. I think. It’s pretty nice though… But I’m insanely fucking tired. Do drugs yeah! Wooooo….. Goodnight.
Baby Hawaiian woodrose
Tonight I lost my “virginity”. At least my virginity towards psychedelics. At half past one last night, being real high, we decided to get something a little harder than just weed. A dude from the dorm experiments with a lot of different drugs, and we got some baby Hawaiian woodrose, also known as lsa seeds. It was amazing. It felt like I was tripping for more than a day, but it was actually only like 5 hours. It is so not the last time I try those. The seeds are actually legal, but not meant for human consumption. You can easily get them from the internet. What you do is first peel off the outer shell with a small knife, till they are sort of blackish all over. Then you chew them for 10-20 minutes before you swallow. They don’t really taste that good, and side effects are, for many, vomiting and a short termed pain in the thighs. I didn’t have any sideeffects.
Right now I’m watching community, smoking skunk and trying to get over my “hangover”.
Stoner's life 